The Day I Made Fear My Bitch

The Day I Made Fear My Bitch

Have you ever had a passion for something, have you ever wanted to try something new and different, have you ever had a dream of doing something more with your life? If so, have you let fear of failure or fear of not being good enough stop you from even attempting to try? 

If you’re like me, then you answered yes, you have let fear stop you from even trying. 

Well, lately I’ve been getting a little sick of fear holding me back and making my life miserable. I understand that fear is just trying to protect me from failure, and I appreciate fear’s protective nature, but sometimes fear has to take a backseat and let things like passion, desire, and risk take over for awhile. 

 Fear is a sensitive little emotion, so we tend to be careful not startle it; it can hold a lot of power and it DOES NOT want to stop protecting you from failure (it’s seen failure before and what it did to you, Fear is not about to let that happen again). Fear is kind of like a clingy partner…it wants you to grow and go out and see the world and be the best you that you can be, but it doesn’t want you to grow too much, or go too far (probably best to stay within the city limits), and you can be the best you that you can be as long as it doesn’t threaten your current lifestyle or relationship with it. These are the rules we live by with Fear.

I’m here to tell ya, my friends, Fear has road blocked me enough. I am ready and willing to put Fear aside and start taking risks, chances, leaps of faith. I am ready to let my passions and desires, for a more fulfilling life, flourish. A few weeks back it was suggested to me that I should be a Life Coach. I thought to myself, how the hell can I be a Life Coach? I don’t have a college degree yet, I’m not trained or certified. Fear started to come in waves at the thought of failing at being a Life Coach; I mean, all I have is life experience…

…Wait a minute…I have a lot of life experience. I’ve been through a lot of shit in my life and I have overcome all of it. I am not a victim; I’ve been victimized, but that doesn’t mean I have to play the role of victim for the rest of my life. I get to move on from that. I get to heal from that. I get to grow and be a stronger person from that. I can even be grateful for the person I’ve become and continue to become from that. I am strong. I am resilient. I am a survivor. Through all of that shit, I have come out being a more kind, caring, loving, forgiving, compassionate, and empathetic person than I could’ve ever imagined. 

So, I decided to be a Life Coach. 

I’ve focused all of my social media on being a Life Coach, I created this blog, I’ve created a new email account just for my Life Coach career.

Is it scary to put myself out here like this? YES!

Is the fear of failure looming? YES! 

Was I miserable before I made the decision to go on this new life’s adventure? YES!

Is the risk of success scarier than the possibility of failing? NO!

I’ve failed before, I know what that’s like. It’s painful and not a very pleasant experience, but every time I’ve failed I’ve also grown. We learn more from our failures than we do from our successes. Often, failure paves the road to success. Rather than fearing failure, we should learn to embrace and appreciate the gifts it gives us.

With all of this enlightenment about fear and failure that I now possess, I am creating a name for myself as a Life Coach, a Loving-Kindness Life Coach.  

However, you don’t just decide to be a Life Coach and start making an income. So, I have to work while building a clientele. 

This next part is when I really conquer my fear. I let Fear know that it can hangout in the background and come to the forefront when my safety and life are at risk, but it no longer gets to control my everyday life. I let it know that from this point on I am going to start living daily! 

I’ve worked for the same company since February 2009. In the beginning it was great. A small company, room for growth, and within my first six months I was made Production Lead. I remained Production Lead for the next 7 years. As time has a way of doing, things changed. Management changed quite a few times over the 7 nearly 8 years I’ve been there. A new General Manager came in just over a year ago, after ownership fired the previous one (we all loved the previous one). The new GM happened to be one of the owners (there are three parties that make up ownership. There were originally 4 but they fired her from her job within the company is a very shitty manner, and she sold her shares back). Since the new GM/Owner has taken over morale has gone way down. I’ve been so miserable for the last 9 months at least. 

With my new boundaries in place around Fear, I started job searching. With every passing day of job searching I come to dislike my job more and more. There is a massive lack of communication between the office and the production floor. The unprofessional behaviors from the GM, his wife, and Office Management is getting completely out of hand. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could handle it.

I discovered yesterday (10/14/2016) how much longer I could handle it. I took a huge leap of faith, put all of my trust in The Universe that it would have my back, and I gave my two week notice yesterday. After nearly 8 years with this company, my GM/Owner read my letter of resignation, when he finished he looked up at me and said “alright”. That was it, “alright”. I knew in that very moment that I had made the right decision.

I happened to have an interview yesterday morning, it went very well, and by the afternoon I was employed again. I stuck to my boundaries around fear and I didn’t let it take control, I gave my trust to a Higher Power, and it paid off. I’ve never felt so happy, so free, so relieved in my life. 

I stopped letting my fear control me. I stopped believing in what my fear was telling me and I started believing in myself. I took my power back from fear. This is MY life! I want to thrive, not just survive. 

My wish for you, is that you will reflect on how much control/power fear has over you and your decisions. Is fear keeping you from being happy, is it keeping you stuck? Ask yourself what you’re afraid of? What is the worst that will happen if you try to take that next step, if you try to follow your heart/passion/desire for something bigger or more and don’t succeed? It’s a scary thought isn’t it? An even scary thought is not trying at all and never having the opportunity to be successful with whatever it is you’re afraid to do. If you fail, learn from it and try again! Keep fighting for the life you want! Your passion is yours, it lives in you. If you’re not happy in your life, what will bring you happiness? Set fear aside, tell it what it’s responsibilities are (to keep you safe from life threatening situations), keep that boundary with fear strong, and then go after your passion, find your happiness, thrive. Start living daily, and stop just getting through the days. 

You are good enough. You are Strong enough. You are deserving of happiness. 

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”
-Robert Frost

 

 

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