At The End Of The Day, These Choices Were Mine

At The End Of The Day, These Choices Were Mine

I hit snooze every 10 minutes for 3 hours before I had no choice but to get up to get ready for work this afternoon. I’m a little frustrated with myself for this.

I woke up to a text letting me know I had two packages in the rental office. I’m excited, they are new pans and utensils (I plan to do a lot more healthy cooking and my current pans are shit. Chipping Teflon and such)

I rushed through the getting ready process so I would have time to get my packages, bring them up to my apartment, and still have time to stop by Target for Dasani sparkling water, fruit, and something for dinner at work tonight.

3:05pm, I shoot rental office a text saying I am on my way down and asking if I can go through the inside door. I didn’t get a response so I just ran down. Inside door locked. Went to outside door, management was out and wouldn’t be back until 3:20. I can’t wait, packages will have to sit until tomorrow. Back up to my apartment, I need to grab stuff for work and head out so I can stop at Target. I’m slightly more frustrated at this point

3:15pm, I am in my vehicle on my way to Target. I’m repeating Dasani, fruit, dinner in my head so I don’t forget to get all three of them.

3:20pm, I arrive at Target. Hope out of my truck, lock it up, check my pocket for my check card and I don’t have it. Nor do I have time to go home to get it. Then I remember I have salad at work from yesterday and I have a couple granola bars in my bag. I’ve gotten by on less in a day.Now I’m just hoping we have water at work. Not quite the plan I had, a bit more frustrated than I already was. It was starting show, as I was getting pissy with other drivers on the road.

I recall sitting at a stop light feeling highly annoyed, frustrated, and a bit pissed off at myself.

3:40pm, arrive at work. Boss offers me one of her flavored sparkling waters. I thank her and show gratitude.

7:15pm, time to eat my salad. I get it out and realize I don’t have a fork to eat it with. There was a big to do yesterday from a client about staff using forks from the kitchen, so I wasn’t about to go that route. One outburst about it is enough. Seriously, is there an end to this shit luck today?

Then it hit me. These things have happened due to decisions I’ve made throughout the day.

I made the decision to sleep much later than planned.

Because of that decision, I shorted myself on time, felt rushed, and forgot to grab my check card.

I know management in the rental office usually slips out of the office around the time I leave for work, this was not her fault, she was sticking to her routine. This was my fault based on a decision I had made. She actually ended up texting me to apologize for not being in the office at the time. I told her it wasn’t necessary to apologize.

Because I forgot to grab my check card I wasn’t able to get what I needed/wanted from Target. Again, this was due to decisions I had made.

A kind hearted fella offered to get me something to eat, but I declined his offer with great appreciation.

My entire day could’ve gone differently had I not made the choice to spend 3 hours hitting snooze every 10 minutes.

Today, I realized that I am responsible for how most of my days go and the moods I have throughout my days. This seems obvious, I know, but I don’t think many of us realize how much control we actually have over our days/lives. Perhaps we don’t feel we have much control because at some point in our life we may not have had any control or choice in things that happened to us, but as adults we do.

We make choices all of the time; sometimes they are good and sometimes they aren’t, but we made the choice regardless of the outcome. Too often, I think, we tend to put the blame of our poor choices on someone/something else. It’s certainly easier than having to own our poor choices. However, we aren’t doing ourselves any favors by placing blame anywhere but on ourselves. Our ego may argue this, but our ego is concerned with self-interest and often times is a tricky little b!tch. Ego is best served in small doses and in moderation.

I could’ve come up with several ways to put the blame of my mishaps throughout the day on someone or something, but instead I took accountability. I didn’t necessarily want to and I had moments where I put it on someone or something else; but at the end of the day, I was the one who hit snooze for three hours and put myself in a rush, regretfully, that was my choice.

But what about things we really don’t have a choice in? What if someone rear-ends me and they don’t have insurance? That’s certainly not a choice I made and I had no control of, right? Right, but there is still a choice in this situation that I need to make. I need to decide how I react to this incident. Will I fly off the handle, cuss out the other driver, pass judgment on what kind of person doesn’t carry car insurance? Or will I be frustrated because this was not something I needed, but when would there ever be a time when I would need this? Would I keep a cool head and just deal with it as it comes because this sort of thing happens in life, like it or not, it happens. Could I find compassion for the other driver, with not knowing the reason for their lack of insurance? Maybe they couldn’t afford it, we all know it isn’t always cheap. Maybe they have a family to clothe, feed, and provide for and auto insurance just doesn’t make the top 5 bills that NEED to be paid to keep their family safe, warm, and fed. Or maybe they don’t have insurance because they just don’t want to pay for it. Either way, it doesn’t change the fact that the accident happened and they don’t have insurance. The choice in how I react to such an incident, is mine. I can let it piss me off and ruin my day or I can take life as it is and go about my day.

We ALWAYS have choices even when/if the initial choice was taken from us, we still have choices as to how to react to whats been done.

I realize my mishaps throughout the day aren’t a huge deal, but they were a bunch of little annoyances, caused by me, that I could’ve let ruin my day. Instead I had a moment of clarity and I made the choice to take it all in stride.

I will be the first to admit I have made some pretty horrible choices in the past, much worse than hitting snooze for three hours. We are all a work in progress, the key is to never give up, to always keep fighting for ourselves, and when life knocks us down, we get right back up and try again.

So, at the end of the day, these choices were mine. At the end of every day, the choices I made will have been mine. I would love to say that with this enlightenment, I will never make a poor choice again, but I am human and I will make plenty more poor choices. I will use those poor choices as a learning opportunity to make better choices next time and I will always try to make the next best choice.

The choice is yours

Dani ♥




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