I started my day with the first boy to steal my heart. I’ve written about him in the past. His name is Anejo.
The adorable head in the image with Anejo is Bow.
Anejo and I connected beautifully today. He is such a sweet boy. I love him to pieces.
If you have never experienced a horse lower his head and gently press it against your body in a way that tells you that he feels safe with you and that you are safe with him, then you have no idea what you are missing.
Last week when I was with Anejo neither of us put in effort to connect with each other. The other horses all approached me and connected, but Anejo didn’t. My fear of him not remembering me and/or rejecting me stood in my way of connecting with him.
This morning I promised myself I was not going to let this session go by without connecting with him. It appeared as though he felt the same way. When I got there Ranger and Bow (I think that’s how his name is spelled) didn’t waste anytime connecting with me. Both came right to me to say hello. At this time I was standing about 5-10 feet in front of Anejo, neither of us had made a move towards each other. When I turned back to Anejo after saying hello to Bow I realized Anejo had taken a step towards me. Then I approached him. When we connected it was like there had never been any distance between us or time apart. It was like we were old friends.
Almost immediately, he lowered his head to me. I gently petted him, cleared the little flies from around his ears and face, rubbed his ears, and brushed his hair away from his eyes. It wasn’t long before he had gently nuzzled his head against my body. He was so sweet, he melted my heart. I was a little surprised by how much comfort I took in him wanting to be that close and connected with me. Not knowing much about horses, but having a pretty tuned in sense of other’s emotions, it felt very much like he was showing me affection. I was soaking up every second of it. I’m a cuddly person, so I could’ve spent the whole day with him nuzzled against me.
It is quite something to have such a large and powerful creature let his guard down, make himself vulnerable to you, and to connect with you on a level of trust, love, and respect.
I’m not sure what it was, but I felt a connection with him the first time I saw him. It took me sometime to overcome my fear of being rejected by him before I could bring myself to have a physical connection with him. He was actually the one to connect with me. He was so kind, patient, and gentle. I was never afraid of him, never felt threatened by him. It was the opposite, really. When I first saw him I wanted to hug him and squeeze him and love him, but that pesky fear of rejection was standing between him and me. I still have fears of rejection with him, but not like it was. My love for him and my desire to connect with him is much stronger than my fear of him rejecting me.
I’m coming to the realization that the possibility of rejection or being hurt is always a risk we take when attempting a new relationship be it friendship, romantic, family, fur people (animals), therapists, doctors…and so on. There is ALWAYS the chance that connections won’t be made, that we will be left feeling rejected and/or hurt. However, if we don’t take the risks involved in creating new relationships we have no idea how much goodness, love, happiness, growth, healing we will be missing out on. Though the risk is heavy, it seems worth it to me.
So a special thank you to Anejo, the first boy to steal my heart.
Who knew there would be a second boy after Anejo to steal my heart? I sure didn’t see it coming, but I’m very happy he showed up, so a special thank you to the second boy to steal my heart.
I also need to give a special thank you to the amazing woman who connected me with Anejo and who has made it possible for me to be where I am in life now. I’ve got a ways to go, but we’re making progress.
Life is feeling pretty good these days, and I’m loving it.