I’ve taken about a year off from school. I needed to get my shit together in order to be successful in school. I feel I’ve come to a place where I’ve gotten my shit together enough to continue on with plans for my future.
A brief inventory of what’s changed and why I feel I’m ready to refocus on school and my professional end goal:
- I’m sober
- I’ve made healthy connections/friendships with people who “get” me and whom I get.
- I’ve been happy for weeks! I don’t remember the last time I felt happy for more than a few days at a time. I’m truly content in my life right now and it feels pretty amazing. I wish I wasn’t so tired all the time though. That’ll change once I start my new job.
- I have a much better awareness of myself and my worth (still have a ways to go in regards to being kind to and taking care of myself, but it’s a work in progress). I’m discovering my limits/boundaries with others as to what I will and will not put up with/accept.
- Everyday I seem to learn a new level of compassion, empathy, understanding, and forgiveness for others (again, I need to work on these things with myself)
- I’m learning to embrace the many changes of life and myself
- My heart is open to the possibility of romantic love and a romantic relationship again. The best thing about this one is that I no longer keep my heart hidden from it nor do I feel I NEED a romantic relationship. I’m perfectly happy being single until a healthy relationship presents itself. I’ve done unhealthy/toxic relationships over and over and over again. I refuse to put myself through that again.
- I’ve got a wonderful new job I will be starting on the 30th that will open so many doors for me.
All of this in the last 6-12 months. I’m feeling pretty good about life and my path these days.
Now it’s time to refocus on school again. I’ve spent far too many years tinkering around with my undergrad degree, it’s time to finish it.
I won’t lose sight of the future I want; in order to achieve that future I am going to finish my bachelor’s and then I will obtain my Master’s.
I am going to stay focused.
I am going to continue to remind myself that I am good enough to obtain both degrees, I am worthy of living my dream, I am the creator of my today and all of my tomorrows.
I am going to hear and trust when people I hold in high regard tell me that I will be a great therapist.
My passion, my heart is in helping others. It feeds my soul to help others.
For the sake of myself and for others, this time I will follow through.
I will not lose myself in past trauma, instead I will work through it with my therapist so it doesn’t hold me back.
I will not lose myself in someone else. I do this for me and I won’t allow anyone to distract me from it.
I will not doubt my ability to succeed.
I will not allow anyone to cause me to doubt my ability.
I am going to be a Licensed Professional Counselor but I’m not going to stop there, I am going to have my own practice and will work for myself. I know this is going to take a lot of time, patience, focus, and hard work; I’m up for it. I am fortunate in that I have someone I can turn to for advice and who can answer some or many questions I may have along the way.
I will seek and welcome support from family, friends, therapist, and my romantic partner (should I have one); however I will not depend on anyone other than myself to get through this. Depending on others leaves me susceptible to failing myself and I can’t continue to give anyone that kind of power of me.
Sometimes life actually goes our way; when we allow it to.
** Hey KAP, if you’re reading this, I think my functional adult finally showed up**