2017: A commitment to myself

2017: A commitment to myself

This year I am not making any New Year Resolutions, they tend to fail within the first month anyways. This year I’m going bigger. This year, I am making a commitment to myself.

My commitment to myself is this:

I am going to practice self-care, self-love, self-respect, and living as my true self. In doing so, I will continue to do the hard work in therapy, I will be setting healthy boundaries, taking inventory of myself/my behaviors and my shortcomings, taking inventory of the people in my life and  evaluating the roles we play in each other’s lives (healthy or unhealthy), I will be seeking more like-minded people (writers, people who practice mindfulness, photographers as a hobby not a profession, survivors of abuse, and others) this does not mean I’m walking away from friends that don’t fit into those categories. I will begin putting more effort into building a Life Coach practice and reaching out to other Life Coaches for any suggestions and/or tips they might be able to offer. I will also be getting my degree in Psychology this year.

While so many people seem eager to be done with 2016 because it was “the.worst.year.ever.” I found it to be my most progressive year ever. It certainly was not my easiest year, but I grew more as a person in 2016 than any other year. 2016, for me, was a year of building a foundation for what’s to come in 2017.

I’ve spent 37 years (all of my life) neglecting my well-being. 2017 is my year to focus on me, my healing process, falling in love with myself, to fearlessly live as my true-self, to let go of self-doubt and believe in myself.



This is my life. I’m ready to own it, run with it, and to start living daily. I haven’t survived all the hell I’ve been through just to go through the motions in life. I want to LIVE it. So I’m going to! I’ll do so by sticking to my commitment to myself because I am worth it, I am lovable, and I matter.

I will no longer tolerate disrespectful or abusive behavior of any kind. So if someday I cross your mind and you realize you haven’t seen anything of mine or heard from me in a while, don’t take it personally. It’s not you, it’s me. I love and respect myself now.

I am no longer a victim. I am a survivor who is learning one moment at a time how to thrive rather than just going through the motions.

With Loving-Kindness ♥

Be well!


Please Take a Moment to Read

Please Take a Moment to Read

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.

mary elizabeth frye – 1932


This Mary Elizabeth Frye poem is written on the back of a picture my mom has of my Grandpa (her father). When I was younger she used to read it to me. I’m not sure what it was about this poem, but it brought me comfort and a sense of safety. I am hoping it will offer some comfort to others who have suffered the loss of a loved one.

For the last few weeks I’ve found myself reciting the lines “Do not stand at my grave and cry, I am not there; I did not die.” Then on December 7th at 10:14pm (I checked my search history to verify) I bookmarked a webpage with the aforementioned poem. I thought perhaps I would write about how my mom would read it to me when I was younger, and how she would tell me things about my Grandpa (he passed away when I was only 6 months old).

On the morning of December 8th at 5:44am I received a text from my mom while I was at work, it read “call me if you can!!” My heart sank, this was not the norm for her to be texting me at that time of day, nor requesting I call her at that time, as I call her every morning at 7:45am when I get off work. Needless to say I called her immediately. As I assumed, something horrible had happened. My cousin Josh passed away in a horrible car accident the night before, December 7th.

The heartbreak I feel for my Aunt, Josh’s children, his sister and her children, cannot be put to words. I can’t even begin to imagine the devastation and hurt they must be feeling and what they are going through. The loss of a loved one is never easy, but a mother should never have to bury a child. A life lost so young; my cousin would’ve been 39 in January. Josh leaves behind 3 children; a teenage boy, a 5 yr old little girl (she turns 5 this coming Monday), and a 2 yr old little boy. These kids won’t have their father for graduation ceremonies, to teach them how to ride a bike, attend their sporting events, to teach them how to drive, at their wedding, and his little girl won’t have her father to walk her down the aisle. Two of them will grow up without really knowing their dad. If that’s not heartbreaking I don’t know what is. I ask you to keep them in your thoughts and prayers.

A Go Fund Me Page has been created for Josh’s family to cover funeral expenses and other needs they may have during this devastating time.I have provided a link for convenience. Whether you know Josh and his family or not, I implore you all to do what you can for his family. I speak of showing kindness to others frequently; here is a chance to do a wonderful act of kindness for a family and expect nothing but gratitude in return. This is the best act of kindness there is. If you are unable to donate please share this post on your site/page, as your wonderful act of kindness, so that it can reach others to give them the opportunity to perform their wonderful act of kindness as well. It’s the holiday season and we’ve all read about how hard this time of year can be for some people; imagine how much harder it would be to lose your child, parent, sibling, etc…during the holiday season. There is no such thing as an act of kindness that is too small, so please do what you can to help support Josh’s family during their time of loss and despair.

Thank you for reading, thank you for sharing, thank you for any donations made. All are much appreciated.

Click the link to Help support Josh’s family. Then without hesitation go hug your family, tell them you love them, that you don’t take them for granted, that you are grateful for them, and how important they are to you. It only takes one moment for the opportunity to be lost forever.

With Loving-kindness and a sad heart,

I wish you all peace and wellness ♥