What If I Fall? Oh, But My Darling, What If You Fly? – E.H.

We fear so many things in life and all too often we let fear control our lives.

We fear not being good enough. We fear being rejected. We fear being judged. We fear not being worthy of something or someone. We fear failure. Perhaps failure is what all of our fear boils down to.

If we aren’t good enough, we feel we’ve failed.

If we get rejected, it’s failure.

We likely feel like we’ve failed at something if others are passing judgement on us.

If we feel unworthy, we’ve failed at being worthy.

And on and on it goes.

So rather than feeling like a “failure” we stay stuck; we settle.

Maybe we settle because we don’t think we can do better than where we are with what we have and who we’re with.

Maybe we settle because the devil we know is less terrifying than the unknown, because what if we try and fail?

We stay stuck, we settle because we are afraid to fail.

But, I ask this…

Why aren’t we afraid of fear holding us back from truly living?

Why aren’t we afraid of not living our best life?

Why aren’t we afraid of settling for mediocrity?

Why aren’t we afraid of not living a happy fulfilling life?

Why aren’t we afraid of missing out on greatness?

I know we fear failure, but if we never lean into fear, if we never take the chance, if we never lose sight of the shore, aren’t we still failing? Aren’t we then just failing at living life?

At what point do we get tired of sitting on the sidelines watching our lives pass us by?

At what point do we finally stand up, face fear head on and take our lives back?

What if I fall?

Oh, but my Darling, What if you fly?

Erin Hanson

A New Chapter

Today I am standing at the feet of a new beginning. A new chapter in my life. Today also marks 21 months alcohol free for me!! I am super proud of myself for that.

I find myself single again, but I know in my heart that I did everything I could to make it work. The timing just wasn’t right. Unfortunately it took us five months to figure that out, or at least to accept it anyway.

I’ve learned a lot about myself and I’ve grown a lot over the last 5 months. I think I might be healthier than I gave myself credit for. I feel sadness in my heart, I’m hurting, but what’s more than that is that I just want her to be happy. I want us both to just be happy.

Back to my next chapter in life, What does that look like? What do I want it to look like?

I want to spend more time with family and friends.

The weather is getting nice again here in Minnesota, so I’d like to get back into hiking.

Things seem to be opening more, I’m hoping that means there will be more available in person yoga classes I can attend. I’ve neglected my yoga practice for far too long. I know there are outdoor yoga classes too, I should look into those.

I’ve already begun to bring meditation back into my life with joining a 6 week meditation class. I think this is going to be a huge positive shift for me. I’m really looking forward to it.

I need to start taking steps toward finishing my degree. So, I think what I am going to do is to just start taking one class at a time, just so I can keep moving forward with it. My passion has always been with helping people. My dream career is to be a therapist. It’s never going to happen if I don’t start making some forward progress here.

I’ve come to the realization that I am starting to love myself. It seems the healthier I become, the more love and respect I have for myself. I’m going to keep working on loving and respecting myself. This will also help me to create healthy boundaries for myself, others in my life, and the future people that come into my life.

I’m also going to start working more on my gifts. I have a very intuitive way about me that I would like to strengthen. I’m also an empath, I would like to strengthen that gift as well and learn how to set healthy safe boundaries around that gift.

I’ve been saying for years that I need to eat a healthier diet. While I have lost a fair amount of weight over the past month, it has been a stress diet, not a healthy diet. So, my plan is to start feeding my body better.

I’m not going to just start feeding my body better food, but I need to start feeding my mind, body and soul better. More self-care and self-love behaviors and activities.

This chapter of my life is all about me finding my center balance again and self-care. The more me I become the better I feel about myself. I will use this time to continue working on becoming the best version of me that I can be.

I have faith in the Universe that it will bring me my person. That person will be the right person at the right time and we will compliment each other in life. Together we will build a solid foundation to build a happy, healthy, respectful, loving relationship. Until then, I will work on further healing myself, self-care, and continue working on my life goals.

Here’s to my next chapter.

With love and light,