I’m Truly Happy When…

I’m Truly Happy When…

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it is that sets my soul on fire. When am I truly happy. It hit me today.

I am at my happiest when I am helping people. That is what sets my soul on fire. It doesn’t matter how big or small the task is, so long as I’m helping in some way.

Today a coworker came to my cubical, sat down and apologized to me for being so short the last couple of days. She wanted me to know that it had nothing to do with me and that she has just been very upset. I told her I didn’t take it personally and that she had nothing to apologize for. She explained her situation and I told her to try not to take it personally. How that person is treating her has nothing to do with her, it is not a reflection of her, but rather a reflection of the other person.

After work, I stopped at Target to get a few things (it’s like my second home). I needed paper towels, but didn’t want the big packs, I just wanted the two pack. Well, the two packs were on the top shelf and nearly gone. I had to stand on the bottom shelf to reach the two pack. I placed one two pack in my cart and then a lady, probably in her 70s, asked if I could reach another one for her. I told her I absolutely could. I grabbed a second one for her, handed them to her, she thanked me and we went on our separate ways.

Both of the above situations filled me with happiness.

You’d be hard pressed to find something I truly love about myself, but I do love that helping people is what makes me happiest, it’s what sets my soul on fire. I love that about me.

It Feels Good

Over the last few weeks I’ve received a lot of positive feedback and compliments. I don’t generally know how to react in the face of these things, other than to smile politely and say thank you. I deeply appreciate all of the kind words, but I’ve always struggled with accepting and believing the compliments I’m given.

“How could I ever be good enough for anything?”

That’s just one of many questions that tend to run through my head when I’m given a compliment or positive feedback.

I’m learning to stop questioning my worth and to accept that perhaps, I am good enough!

A couple of weeks ago, a coworker of mine told me that she’s heard nothing but good things about me throughout the company and that the head of another department inquired about me.

Last week, a coworker sent me an email telling me the she appreciates me. I had helped her with a couple of different things and we worked together to get a couple other things figured out. The email she sent me simply said, “I appreciate you.” It is amazing how just 3 words can have such a profound impact on a person. “I appreciate you”. Those may be my new favorite 3 words. We all need to tell people this more often. It feels good to be told!

Another co-worker, last week, told me I was a genius. I think it’s safe to say that I am not a genius, but his expression of gratitude was warmly received.

I was even referred to as an amazing woman last week. This might be another set of words to add to my favorites list.

Then today, a meeting had just ended and I was walking back to the cubical farm with another coworker that I don’t generally see much of, but we’ve always gotten along quite well. She is a speed walker like none I’ve ever seen. She jokingly picked up her pace as we walked together. We talked about her steps per day, and asked each other how things are going. I told her I was good and had no complaints. She then said, that she has heard nothing but good things about me and that I am doing a great job. Apparently there is lots of buzz about me throughout the company. As we parted ways, she said, “I tell them I agree!”. We laughed and thanked her.

Whether there is all this buzz about how “great” I am or not, it is definitely nice to hear that some people think I am doing great.

It’s nice to be told that I’m appreciated.

It’s nice to be noticed.

In some ways this feels very new to me. It’s not like I’ve never been complimented or anything. History has shown that I do tend to rise in whatever I do, without intending to. I’ve been told several times throughout my life that I’m one of a kind, that I’m a special person, that there is something about me,  that I’m easy to love, and easy to fall in love with (if someone could find my “person”, let her know that, and send her my way, I would much appreciate it).

I’ve always struggled to believe and/or understand what it was about me that people saw. What are they seeing that I don’t? What is the “something” about me? What makes me one of a kind or a special person? Why am I easy to love and fall in love with?

I’m learning that maybe I don’t need answers to those questions. Maybe I just need to accept that what people say is true, whether I understand it or not. I’ve been told these things repeatedly throughout my life, there must be some truth to it, right?

So, I’m just going to accept it. I’m going to embrace it. I’m going to be grateful for it. I’m going to take joy in knowing that there are people who have been, currently are, and will be in my life that appreciate me, just for being me, and that’s pretty fuckin awesome!