Be Kind To Yourself: You Matter

Be Kind To Yourself: You Matter

How we treat, take care, and think of ourselves is essential. It’s the foundation to living a healthy happy life. It is our job, our responsibility to take care of ourselves and be sure that our mind, body, and soul’s needs are being met. Doing this will, in effect, allow us to be fully there for others. Many think it is selfish to put yourself first. I disagree. How can we effectively be there, care for, love others when we can’t even do that for ourselves? It is not selfish to take care of and treat yourself well before others, it’s the healthy thing to do. We tend to put ourselves on the back burner while we tend to others, this results in us suffering because we aren’t giving ourselves the time we need to meet our own physical and mental/emotional needs. At that rate, we will find ourselves unhappy, dissatisfied, exhausted, and quite possibly resentful of the people we’ve been giving our all to while neglecting ourselves. This is NOT healthy. 

You can't pour from an empty cup

While taking care of yourself you can, of course, still care for others. Just be sure you are not neglecting yourself in the process. 

Caring for yourself, loving yourself, and treating yourself well doesn’t have to be a big time-consuming process. Be an active part of your life. Do things you enjoy doing; it could be reading a book, taking a walk, a 5 minute meditation practice or a day long meditation practice if you so desire. It could be taking time to do a few yoga poses, write a letter, maybe even write a letter old school style with pen and paper. The objective is to do something that fills your heart with happiness. Make time for yourself daily.

We talk to ourselves all of the time; some of us do it out loud while others do it silently in their heads, whatever the case, being mindful of how you talk to yourself and the messages you send yourself is crucial. I suspect, more often than not, we are being critical of our self rather than being kind and loving with our self. If this is the case, having an awareness of this will be very helpful in changing your self-talk. We can either build ourselves up or tear ourselves down with self-talk. We tend to believe what we tell ourselves, this can be very damaging. Try to be aware of when you talk to yourself. If you find yourself being unnecessarily critical of yourself or tearing yourself down, then stop in the middle of that self-talk session and correct what you’re saying to yourself. Maybe you’ve made a mistake, or did something wrong; that’s okay, you’re human. To error is a side effect of being human. We are ALL perfectly imperfect. Rather than tearing yourself down, make it a teaching/learning moment for yourself. Ask, “how can I handle this conversation with myself in a way that isn’t negative self-talk, but rather constructive self-talk?”. Overtime and with practice the way you self-talk will change and begin to do more building up rather than tearing down.

Once you begin loving, caring, and treating yourself well you will come to expect that same treatment from others. You will no longer accept less than you deserve. 

Therefore, another piece to caring for yourself and treating yourself well is being aware of who you surround yourself with. We want connections with others, we want to be understood, we want a voice, we want respect, we want like-minded people, and we want support from the people we surround ourselves with. If you find yourself lacking these kinds of people in your circle, then join a group, club, organization, or class where like-minded people will be. If you like to meditate then find a meditation group near you. If you like to read then find a book club. If you like to do yoga then join a yoga class. There are other people in the world with similar interests as you, you just have to find them and connect with them. When you find them, you will know. These people are your tribe. These people “get” you. You will find peace, inspiration, understanding, a voice, and support. I can’t express enough the importance of finding your tribe. This will be so beneficial to your self-care. 

Learning to treat yourself well, and to love and care for yourself will not be an easy endeavor. There’s a chance that how you treat and talk to yourself is how you’ve been treated and talked to by others, it’s a learned behavior. Learned behaviors can be corrected and replaced with better behaviors. But it will take time, patience, awareness, effort, and respect from yourself. You will need to be kind and gentle with yourself. In the end it will be one of, if not, the greatest gift you could give yourself, your loved ones, and all of the people in your tribe. 

While you work on loving and caring for yourself, and treating yourself well, know that the following is true:

You are precious. You are worthy. You are good enough. You are enough. You are deserving of love, of healthy love. You are deserving of happiness. You have a voice and it deserves to be heard. You are deserving of respect. You, My Darlings, matter.

With Loving-kindness for yourself and others ♥

You are not alone!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Impromptu Post About Me

Impromptu Post About Me

 

I wrote what follows on my personal Facebook account to let my friends and family know what’s been going on with me over the last several weeks. After I finished writing it I went back over it to proof/edit it, and I thought to myself. “self, this might give your blog readers a better understanding as well. Lets blog this.” So, here it is, being blogged.

My apologies to my friends and family who follow me on Facebook and/or Twitter, for this popping up again in your newsfeed.

It’s occurred to me that many of you might be a bit confused about why I started a new Facebook account, why I created a Page, why my Instagram and Twitter posts are all showing up on Facebook, why I started blogging, why my usernames change frequently, and what all of this “Living Daily” stuff is about.

Well, it’s been a crazy few weeks. I’ve recently started working on building a Life Coach business for myself…that’s where “Living Daily” comes in. I will be working with people to bring down barriers that stand in their way of living a fulfilled life. I will provide them with support, a listening ear without judgement, a safe zone to process and explore through thoughts and ideas regarding their passions and desires for life. Together we will gently move the barriers out of the way so that they can start “Living Daily”. Visit my blog/site for more info on Living Daily, feel free to follow me while you’re there as well https://lovingkindness.me/. It may say you need to sign up or something when you follow me, but you do not have to. Just enter your email address to get notified when I blog and disregard what they say about signing up, then check your inbox to confirm follow.

While I have been working on my social media sites for Living Daily, I’ve also been making other big changes. I quit my job of nearly 8 years as a Production Lead. I no longer found it to be fulfilling in anyway, I began to loathe the sound of my alarm, and was dragging myself out of bed every morning. Very clear signs that it’s time to move on.

I’ve taken a job working as an overnight Chemical Dependency Tech for a treatment facility/program in the West Metro Area. For those of you who may not know me very well, this position will fill my soul. I’ve always had a passion for helping others. Since this is an overnight position, I will have a significant amount of downtime, so I will be enrolling in college again for Spring Semester. I am encouraged it bring homework or whatever to keep myself busy overnight (it’s an awake position). This is perfect, as it will allow me to take a full course load and obtain my Undergrad degree in Psychology within 2-3 semester.

I’ve completely upended my life and I couldn’t be more at peace with the decision to do so. I had to set my own fears aside so that I could make these choices, and start Living Daily for myself.

We aren’t meant to just get through life. We are meant to live it. We’ve only got this one (that we know of anyways). If you’re feeling stuck and/or unhappy with your life or just in one area of your life, then explore that. Why do you feel stuck/unhappy? What is keeping you stuck/unhappy? What steps can you take to get unstuck and be happy? What feelings come up when you think about what it would mean to take the steps to change? These are some of the questions that need to be explored to start moving towards Living Daily.

I went through this process myself over the last several weeks. I hit my limit of tolerance and something needed to change. I could not continue living so miserably. I navigated my way through it with the support of my therapist. This certainly wasn’t something that took place overnight. It took me a long time to build up the courage to face my fears and insecurities, to take the leap, and to put my trust in The Universe, God, or whatever higher power is out there. As the time came closer to start making the big decisions, like quitting my job, I called on support from my family and friends.

Now here I am, putting my passion into action. I know I have a ways to go, to get where I’m going, but I am on my way. And the fear I have now is the good fear, the fear that pushes me forward, not the fear that holds me down; yes, there is a difference. I’m not stressed anymore, not like I was. It’s a good stress now. Yes, there is such a thing. I’ve got a feeling of fulfillment that now lives inside of me, and it feels amazing! I have this very unfamiliar feeling, I think it’s called happiness.

So, that’s what’s been going on with the new account, the page, the other social media sites, the blog, etc. I hope that answers any questions you might have. If not, feel free to ask.

All of my social media sites are public. I would greatly appreciate if you would share some of my blog posts on your timeline, suggest my FB page to your FB friends, retweet my tweets, and so on and so forth. It helps to get my name out there.

If you, or anyone you know, is feeling stuck/unhappy with life or any aspect of life, and are/is struggling to process through it alone (it is very overwhelming to wrap the mind around) or lack a support system, let me know. I can be reached any number of ways:

Living Daily Blog/Site: https://lovingkindness.me/

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/withlovingkindness/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/living_daily_

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/living_daily_/

For my email address or phone number, contact me through a private message on any one of the above sites.

I know this comes off as some sort of fluffy plug, but for those of you who KNOW me, you know my heart and that my intentions are genuine and come from a place of love. I’m not a fluffy foo foo kind of person. I’m grounded and authentic, I’ve been through hell and back again, and then for the hell of it, I made the round trip a second time. I’m not here to blow smoke up your ass, I really want to help guide you to a happy place in life. I truly want all of you to be Living Daily, and not just going through the motions.

Thank you for your love and support. May all of you be Living Daily!

With Loving-kindness,

Danielle