It’s My Blog and I’ll Whine if I Want To!

It’s said that The Universe will continue to bring similar situations to you until you’ve learned the lesson. I suppose, given my history and track record in life so far, that’s true; I’m apparently a very slow learner. There seems to be a very particular lesson that I am clearly unable to learn…picking romantic relationships/partners. I don’t necessarily regret any romantic relationship I’ve ever been in, as I’ve learned something from each one and I’ve grown from each one. I feel like I am ready for the happy, healthy, kind, compassionate, supportive, honest, loving, mutually respectful, committed relationship that I know I deserve and am worthy of. The Universe, on the other hand, obviously doesn’t think I am ready for that. I’m pretty much over learning romantic relationship lessons.

It’s also said that The Universe will make us happy, but first it will make us strong. At this point in my life, I have to assume that The Universe is preparing me to single handedly save the world from a zombie apocalypse. Why else would I need to be this strong?

I’m tired. I’m physically, emotionally, mentally exhausted.

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend

How do you do it? How do you creep up on me without me knowing?

I am sitting right at the edge of your nothingness, your dark abyss. I am here with that horrible aching numbness, that emptiness, and I am fighting with everything I have to not give in to you.

I refuse to let you bring me to my knees begging and pleading for mercy, again.  You feed on my weaknesses, my insecurities, my heartbreak, my frustration, my exhaustion; I know I feed you well.

What is so much more than that, though, is the overwhelming and relentless amount of love I have in my heart. That is too much for you to swallow. It’s your kryptonite and I am full stocked!

You may wear me down, you may bring me to my knees, and you have dragged me into an unimaginable darkness but I am so much stronger than you think and I will get back up every.fucking.time.

Depression, my old friend, you have won many battles but I am going to win the war.

Your old friend,

The Survivor