My Ideal Life

When a take a moment to think about what my ideal life looks like, it doesn’t take long to realize I’m not living it.

When I close my eyes and draw to mind the image of my ideal life it looks something like this:

  • My profession is helping people, likely with a focus on victims of trauma. I can see myself as a:
    • Life Coach (with a focus on mindfulness)
    • Therapist (If I decide to go that far with my education)
    • Yoga Teacher
    • Energy Worker
    • Some how combine writing, photography, and nature with healing and overcoming road blocks in life.
    • Or a combination of the above
  • My Tribe is made up of like-minded people.
  • I own and operate a Wellness Center.
  • I live a more minimalist life.
  • I live in either a Tiny House, or a small house preferably lakeside or in the country. I have a garden where my partner (assuming I meet the right woman) and I grow our own produce. If money allows I/we will also have an indoor greenhouse for year round produce (I still reside in Minnesota).
  • I travel to various places, stateside and abroad.

These are some changes I can make, starting right now, to get me closer to my ideal life:

  • Show myself the same kindness, compassion, and respect that I show others and believe that I am deserving of my own kindness, compassion, respect, and love.
  • Be strong and confident in myself, my views, my beliefs, and my values.
  • Stop allowing myself to be treated as less than by others, regardless of their position in life. Self-respect and dignity are important and I will no longer give up mine for anyone.
  • Eat healthier. Make time to cook healthy foods rather than always defaulting to sugar loaded foods due to convenience.
  • Give myself time to rest. Sleep is important and I need to allow myself a minimum of 7 hours every night.
  • Make time to meditate daily, even if it’s only 5 minutes. I am deserving of this practice.
  • Make time for a daily yoga practice, even if it’s only a few poses. I am deserving of this practice.
  • Make time for writing at least twice a week
  • Make time for photography at least twice a month

There are other changes I will need to make that will take more time:

  • Continue healing from my own trauma
  • Certified as a Life Coach
  • Certified as a Yoga Teacher
  • Look into what I need to do to sell some of my photography (potential supplemental income).
  • Finish my BA in Psychology
  • Research starting a business/being a business owner
  • Look into Seminars and Workshops that will help expand my knowledge and ability to better help others.

These are some of the changes that I can make and will need to make in order to fully live my ideal life. There are many changes I know I haven’t even considered yet, but I will as they arise.

I don’t have to wait until I’ve completely built my ideal life to begin living it. I can begin right now. I can live it, in many ways in the present moment, as I continue building my ideal life.

I’ll need to be forgiving of myself on this journey as I will slip, I will make mistakes, I will have set backs; I need not give up on myself or on my ideal life during times of feeling defeated. I’ll need to remind myself of where I’ve been, what I’ve lived through, and know that I am strong enough to overcome anything that comes my way.

I’ll need to remember that my purpose is to help others in any way that I can, and I will best be able to do that if I am living a life that is true to the essence that is me.

Nothing worth doing is ever done without courage, patience, and persistence.

-Dani

 

You Only Live Once

I have a sugar addiction problem, as well as sedentary problem. The combination of the two is proving to be very unhealthy and my body is paying the toll. I treat myself rather poorly. This is not new information for me, but the longer my unhealthy lifestyle goes on the more I feel the effects of it.

My joints and muscles have been causing me a lot of discomfort; my neck, shoulders, elbows, upper back, lower back, hips, and knees have been the worst.

For other reasons I had been doing a little research on the causes of cancer and whether stress is a contributor or not. While I have a lot more research to do on the stress/cancer topic, I did discover that chronic inflammation, lack of activity, and unhealthy diet are all contributors to cancer.

It wasn’t until later that day, when I was talking with my therapist, that it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was telling her about the research I was doing and we also talked about how sore my body is. I don’t recall if the conversations were directly connected, but they were had in conjunction of one another. She told me that sugar is a cause of inflammation, and that eating healthier would help to reduce my inflammation and the pain I’ve been having. It was then that it all came together in my head, and I said, “I’m killing myself”, as my eyes welled up with tears. My therapist asked what was coming up for me and, possibly for the first time, I realized that I have a real love for myself.

I am not afraid of death, but I’m also not in any hurry to get there. There are so many things in life that are out of my control; I need to be mindful of the power that’s been given to me over the things I actually can control. How I treat the body I’ve been given is entirely under my control.

I could go on feeling like shit on a regular basis or I can change my lifestyle and begin to feel better on a regular basis. The choice obvious, but I’m certainly not going to blow sunshine up my own ass by telling myself it’s the easier choice.

Making a lifestyle change isn’t easy for anyone, but adding the process of recovering from severe developmental trauma, brings a whole other level of challenge to it. I know I will stumble. I know there will be hard days. I know there will be days that I won’t give a shit. I know that these will be the days that I will need to learn to forgive myself for.

I’ve talked to people about giving up sugary treats, and often times I’m met with comments like, “you only live once, eat the sugar”. The reality of this statement is, in itself, life changing; we only live once (at least in this life and body). With this one life I have here, I would rather feel good than live in pain and discomfort.

It’s merely coincidental that all of this comes about on the 1st day of the new year, but I am not considering it a New Year Resolution, I’m considering it a start to a new lifestyle. I’m considering it an attempt to save my life or rather to extend the length of my life.

There are countless ways for death to find me, I refuse to consciously be one of them.

-Dani