My Wish For You

My wish for you is that someday you will find the strength and the courage to actually be yourself, your true self, and to live your life unapologetically.

My wish for you is for you to make healthy choices for yourself.

My wish for you is for you to not be afraid to actually be on your own, to actually be YOU!

My Wish for you is for you to heal the wounds that keep you attached to him.

My wish for you is to find the strength and the courage to allow yourself to be with someone who can offer you a happy and healthy relationship. We both know he’s not it.

I’m very sad for you that this is what you’re going back to. You deserve so much better. Please get yourself healed so that you can see your own worth and that you are deserving of a happy healthy life. In order to do that though, you are going to have to take accountability for your unhealthy behaviors. You are going to have to own your shit. You are going to have to accept and admit that you are the one sabotaging all of the good things the Universe brings to you.

My wish for you is that you heal so that you can finally find some peace and happiness and accept healthy love.

I wish you well.

It Feels Good

Over the last few weeks I’ve received a lot of positive feedback and compliments. I don’t generally know how to react in the face of these things, other than to smile politely and say thank you. I deeply appreciate all of the kind words, but I’ve always struggled with accepting and believing the compliments I’m given.

“How could I ever be good enough for anything?”

That’s just one of many questions that tend to run through my head when I’m given a compliment or positive feedback.

I’m learning to stop questioning my worth and to accept that perhaps, I am good enough!

A couple of weeks ago, a coworker of mine told me that she’s heard nothing but good things about me throughout the company and that the head of another department inquired about me.

Last week, a coworker sent me an email telling me the she appreciates me. I had helped her with a couple of different things and we worked together to get a couple other things figured out. The email she sent me simply said, “I appreciate you.” It is amazing how just 3 words can have such a profound impact on a person. “I appreciate you”. Those may be my new favorite 3 words. We all need to tell people this more often. It feels good to be told!

Another co-worker, last week, told me I was a genius. I think it’s safe to say that I am not a genius, but his expression of gratitude was warmly received.

I was even referred to as an amazing woman last week. This might be another set of words to add to my favorites list.

Then today, a meeting had just ended and I was walking back to the cubical farm with another coworker that I don’t generally see much of, but we’ve always gotten along quite well. She is a speed walker like none I’ve ever seen. She jokingly picked up her pace as we walked together. We talked about her steps per day, and asked each other how things are going. I told her I was good and had no complaints. She then said, that she has heard nothing but good things about me and that I am doing a great job. Apparently there is lots of buzz about me throughout the company. As we parted ways, she said, “I tell them I agree!”. We laughed and thanked her.

Whether there is all this buzz about how “great” I am or not, it is definitely nice to hear that some people think I am doing great.

It’s nice to be told that I’m appreciated.

It’s nice to be noticed.

In some ways this feels very new to me. It’s not like I’ve never been complimented or anything. History has shown that I do tend to rise in whatever I do, without intending to. I’ve been told several times throughout my life that I’m one of a kind, that I’m a special person, that there is something about me,  that I’m easy to love, and easy to fall in love with (if someone could find my “person”, let her know that, and send her my way, I would much appreciate it).

I’ve always struggled to believe and/or understand what it was about me that people saw. What are they seeing that I don’t? What is the “something” about me? What makes me one of a kind or a special person? Why am I easy to love and fall in love with?

I’m learning that maybe I don’t need answers to those questions. Maybe I just need to accept that what people say is true, whether I understand it or not. I’ve been told these things repeatedly throughout my life, there must be some truth to it, right?

So, I’m just going to accept it. I’m going to embrace it. I’m going to be grateful for it. I’m going to take joy in knowing that there are people who have been, currently are, and will be in my life that appreciate me, just for being me, and that’s pretty fuckin awesome!