A New Chapter

Today I am standing at the feet of a new beginning. A new chapter in my life. Today also marks 21 months alcohol free for me!! I am super proud of myself for that.

I find myself single again, but I know in my heart that I did everything I could to make it work. The timing just wasn’t right. Unfortunately it took us five months to figure that out, or at least to accept it anyway.

I’ve learned a lot about myself and I’ve grown a lot over the last 5 months. I think I might be healthier than I gave myself credit for. I feel sadness in my heart, I’m hurting, but what’s more than that is that I just want her to be happy. I want us both to just be happy.

Back to my next chapter in life, What does that look like? What do I want it to look like?

I want to spend more time with family and friends.

The weather is getting nice again here in Minnesota, so I’d like to get back into hiking.

Things seem to be opening more, I’m hoping that means there will be more available in person yoga classes I can attend. I’ve neglected my yoga practice for far too long. I know there are outdoor yoga classes too, I should look into those.

I’ve already begun to bring meditation back into my life with joining a 6 week meditation class. I think this is going to be a huge positive shift for me. I’m really looking forward to it.

I need to start taking steps toward finishing my degree. So, I think what I am going to do is to just start taking one class at a time, just so I can keep moving forward with it. My passion has always been with helping people. My dream career is to be a therapist. It’s never going to happen if I don’t start making some forward progress here.

I’ve come to the realization that I am starting to love myself. It seems the healthier I become, the more love and respect I have for myself. I’m going to keep working on loving and respecting myself. This will also help me to create healthy boundaries for myself, others in my life, and the future people that come into my life.

I’m also going to start working more on my gifts. I have a very intuitive way about me that I would like to strengthen. I’m also an empath, I would like to strengthen that gift as well and learn how to set healthy safe boundaries around that gift.

I’ve been saying for years that I need to eat a healthier diet. While I have lost a fair amount of weight over the past month, it has been a stress diet, not a healthy diet. So, my plan is to start feeding my body better.

I’m not going to just start feeding my body better food, but I need to start feeding my mind, body and soul better. More self-care and self-love behaviors and activities.

This chapter of my life is all about me finding my center balance again and self-care. The more me I become the better I feel about myself. I will use this time to continue working on becoming the best version of me that I can be.

I have faith in the Universe that it will bring me my person. That person will be the right person at the right time and we will compliment each other in life. Together we will build a solid foundation to build a happy, healthy, respectful, loving relationship. Until then, I will work on further healing myself, self-care, and continue working on my life goals.

Here’s to my next chapter.

With love and light,

Dani

This is How I Know

So I’ve had my heart broken today, and it’s ok. I mean it hurts, but I think it had to happen. I love her so very deeply.

A lot of people say, “You make me want to be a better person.”. So often those are just words they say, hell I’ve said the words in the past myself. However, this woman really did make me want to be a better person. I even made several changes to become a better, healthier person while we were together. I learned things from this woman and our relationship that I didn’t even know I needed to learn.

This woman has been through a lot of shit in her life. She, like many of us, has a history of trauma that she needs to heal. A lot of past wounds that are still wide open. She has had her confidence, her self-esteem, her self-worth, her true-self stripped away from her. She has a journey ahead of her to heal and rebuild herself to be the person she wants to be. The essence of who she is, is truly beautiful. She has a solid foundation to build from, she just can’t see how incredible she already is. She can’t see how worthy she already is of all of the good things life has to offer her. She can’t see how loveable she is. She can’t see her own strength and courage. I’ve been able to see her, to truly see her from the first day I looked into her eyes. She has so much pain in her eyes, but behind all of that pain is a truly beautiful soul.

Another thing people often say is, “when you truly love someone, all you will want for them is happiness, even if that happiness isn’t with you.”. I have come to a place of knowing that I truly love this woman because I don’t need her to be happy with me, I just want her to be happy. I just want the best for her. I want her to heal old wounds and past trauma so that she can finally be the person she wants to be. So she can finally be free to be herself. To love who she wants. To live and love out loud. I want her to see and know her worth. I want her to see and know her beauty. I want her to believe in herself like I believe in her. I want her to feel the strength and courage that lives inside of her. I want her to be everything she wants to be. I want her to have everything she wants. I want all of her wants and needs met. I want her to see herself the way I see her. I have seen her truly happy, she lights up a room. When she allows herself to feel like her true self, she is so kind, compassionate, understanding, loving, and just incredibly beautiful. I want her to feel like her true-self all of the time. I want her to heal and be healthy and happy. She is so deserving and worthy of healing, happiness, healthy love, healthy connections, and all the good things in life. I want to give her my strength while she builds her own. I want to give her my courage while she finds hers. I want her to fight for herself. I want her to learn to forgive herself. I want her to learn to be gentle and patient with herself. I want her to learn to love herself. I want her to courageously live her life unapologetically.

I want what’s best for her, even if that’s not me. This is how I know, I truly love this woman.