One of the fastest ways to lose my respect is to throw someone else under the bus to save your own ass. It’s a shitty cowardly thing to do.

If you’re willing to take all of the glory for doing something successfully then you also need to be willing to take responsibility for mistakes you make.

I have made my fair share of mistakes in my life. In fact, my list of mistakes is probably much longer than my list of accomplishments/successes. When I was a teenager I was in trouble all of the time (with the law). Even back then I took accountability for my actions and behaviors. I didn’t blame anyone else, I didn’t throw anyone under the bus to save my ass. I owned my shit and suffered the consequences. And I’m a better person today because of it.

The thing about mistakes is that they aren’t all bad. We learn and grow more in our mistakes than we do in our successes. But in order to learn and grow from our mistakes we need to take accountability for them. Otherwise all we are learning is how to be a shitty person.

It’s been my experience that people who blame others and/or don’t take accountability for their mistakes are attempting to appear flawless, without error, perfect in their actions and behaviors. The irony of it is that they actually end up looking like a liar, disrespectful, cowardly, small, and untrustworthy. So they appear worse than if they had just taken accountability for themselves.

People forgive mistakes because we all make them, it’s a side effect of being human; seldom do people forgive being lied to, disrespected, or being run-over by a bus for someone else’s mistake.

I realize how difficult it can be to own our mistakes, our wrong doings. Pride and ego are the hardest pills to swallow, but it’s the right thing to do. It is harder to do the right thing than it is to not care. It is harder to be humble than it is to be arrogantly prideful. No one likes to be wrong, no one likes to make mistakes, but these things happen. Not just to you or to me but to everyone. No one person is without mistakes. So why lie, point blame at an innocent person, betray others? There is far more to lose than to gain in that kind of behavior.

Just own YOUR shit! You’ll survive it, I promise. The rest of us have.

  • Dani


How Much Do I Really Need?

How Much Do I Really Need?

Lately my life feels very cluttered and it is draining the hell out of me. I look around my life and there is so much stuff. My vehicle is full of stuff, my apartment is full of stuff. It seems as though this stuff is somehow in direct relation to my emotions and thoughts because those feel very cluttered and consumed by “stuff” as well. 

I NEED a change!

Starting today I am going to start eliminating “stuff” from my life, beginning with my apartment. I am going to go through everything and if I don’t need it then it goes (with the exception of things that I hold near and dear to my heart). 

What I do need:

  • A job to support myself
  • a vehicle to get me around
  • A roof over my head
  • Clothes on my back
  • Food in my tummy

That’s it 5 things! Obviously there are things that accompany these 5 things. My apartment needs to be furnished. I need pots, pans, dishes to cook my food with. But the question then becomes, how much of those things are needed? Do I really need so many food storage containers to store my left over food? How many do I actually use at a time anyways?  The lids have mysteriously disappeared for most of them and now I have many containers with just one lid that is shared among them. I could get rid of all but one container to go with the one lid. 

Furniture. In my living room I have a couch, an over-sized chair, an ottoman, an end table, TV Stand, TV, a corner table, and a rectangular folding table that acts as a desk which is really just covered in mail and “stuff” that I need to go through. I’ve had my couch and over-sized chair for a couple/few years now and in that time I think I’ve used my couch maybe 5 times. Do I really need it? Probably not, but I have it so my living room doesn’t look empty. In fact I would say that 80% of the stuff in my living room essentially goes unused. I use my over-sized chair, my ottoman, my end table, and TV/TV Stand. That’s it, everything else could go. 

*I’m going to do a trial period of 1 month without using my TV. I will pretend it isn’t even there. I will disconnect it and turn it around if I have to (it’s 50″ so I can’t just store it in a closet). If the month goes well, I will extend it another month. If after 2 months I am doing well with no TV then I will get rid of my TV. 

Closets. OMG my closets are horribly full of stuff. So much stuff that I DO NOT NEED! With the exception of coats and clothes (about half anyways) I could get rid of everything else I have in my closets. I think many of us have a tendency to keep things we don’t use because what if one day we find a need for that little rubber piece that we aren’t real sure what it even is, but it could come in handy someday. Or the extra screw that came with the cabinet we bought to store more “stuff” in. Never know when you’re gonna need an extra screw; better throw it in the junk drawer with the rest of the useless stuff we will likely never use (assuming you can fit it in the jam packed drawer).

I have a food processor, a blender, a Magic Bullet, a large crock-pot, and a toaster that basically go unused. I would love to use my toaster, but I never have much room on my counter to use it because it’s filled with other “stuff”. It has been well over a year since I’ve used the food processor, blender, and crock-pot. About every 6 months I will use the MB to make smoothies. First, do I really need a blender and the MB? No. Second, if I haven’t used it for over a year, do I really have a need for it? Probably not. 

My plan:

  • Trial with TV (potentially giving up TV altogether)
  • Eliminating “stuff” I haven’t used in over a year
  • Getting rid of containers that have no lid and lids that have no container
  • Eliminating the “junk drawer” it’s just junk 
  • Eliminating the folding table/desk (catch all)
  • Inventory closets, get rid of anything I don’t wear or use (I’m probably never going to fit in those jeans I wore when I was 24 ever again, just let them go)
  • Down-size dresser and night stand
  • shop around for futon/pull-out couch

My goal is to have all of this done by October 31, 2018. This is when I plan to move to a studio apartment for at least a year. If all goes well with the studio apartment, I will then start looking at purchasing land to put a tiny house on. 

It is my belief that if I de-clutter my physical life that my emotional/mental life will follow suit and be de-cluttered as well; allowing me to better focus on things like healing from my past, being in the present moment, and living a happier more fulfilling life…

…But that’s just me! 

Dani ♥∀